I watch 7 children throughout the week (at different times, not all at once!). Three of these children are 5 year old triplets who I pick up from school Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. This past Thursday I had an exchange with them as we drove from school to their house, here’s part of it.
Z: “Ms. Morgan, you’re in college, right?”
Z: “So that means you’re a grown-up then.”
O: “Wait! If you’re a grown-up then why are you still in college?”
I loved this conversation as it captured the season of life I’m in right now. I have been in college almost 8 years. I’ve changed a great deal within these 8 years. I have gone from being frustrated with the institutional church, to leaving it, to coming back and finding my heart with it. I have lived in Canada, Waco, and D.C. I have spent time in Haiti, India, and Rwanda. I have lived with roommates, lived on my own, lived with other families. I went from thinking I’d never be ordained to being in the ordination process. Many things have changed in my life beyond these few things.
Within these 8 years I have gone from being a teen to entering adulthood to being a pseudo adult (as I refer to life stage right now). I have worked part time and gone to school full time for most of these years. I am currently working part time and going to school full time but something is different this year than any other year in college. This year I’m transitioning into full time work and saying goodbye to being a student in the classroom. That’s why Z’s and O’s comments about me being in college and being a grown-up made me laugh. For one of them being in college was a way for her to mark my adulthood. For the other being in college was what people who weren’t adults yet did. Explaining to them that they were both right was a fun experience for me.
As I leave pseudo adulthood and enter “real” adulthood I am nervous, sure, but I am also excited. These past 8 years have taught me so much and have given me space to grow into my personhood. I can honestly say I have lived these 8 years well. They have been filled with remarkable joy, laughter, pain, and transition. I wouldn’t trade these 8 years for anything. I have no idea what the future holds for me. I have no frame of reference of what looking for a full time job is like. I have no job lined up or city to call home, yet. I have no clue how my skills will be used in the world post college. I have finally moved from fear and nervousness about this entering “real” adulthood to nervousness and excitement.
If these past 8 years have taught me anything it is that you never know what the future will be but if you remain willing to learn, open to change, surrounded by honest & loving people, and lean into what you know God’s voice to be then you’ll get through whatever life has for you.
Here’s to leaving pseudo adulthood and entering the next phase of life. May I continue to grow into my personhood even more!