Sailor

In the past week I have made several ventures out of my lovely host home and on to the streets of the DC area. I am pleased to report that I have survived all of my ventures. There is something I quickly learned about myself while I have been driving these streets … my language begins to resemble that of a sailor. I tell other drivers that they are ridiculous for blowing their horns when it obviously does no good, and of course I tell them this in the kindest of tones and with the sweetest of words (that a sailor would say). Granted my windows are up and they can’t hear me so really I’m only telling myself this information. What can I say, it makes me feel better! In addition to telling the wonderful residents of the DC area that they are ridiculous I also hold conversations with them about how bold they are to inch their car over quickly and into spaces that are clearly too small for them. Once again these conversations are one way. If you happen to be on the phone with me while I’m driving you will get to experience this lovely side of me. I do warn you though and try to sensor myself. Now, it needs to be said that I’m not like an aged sailor who is surrounded by the boys. No, no. I’m more like a young sailor who is slowly becoming familiar with the ways of being a sailor. I must admit the advice I offer these drivers is Great. If only they could hear my brilliant advice, maybe I wouldn’t have a tiny sailor’s mouth on my when I drive. So alas, this is something that amuses me since I’m not sure why it comes out so naturally and only when I drive … I am detecting a bit of road rage. Therefore, if you love me and wish for me to remain the innocent, sweet, angelic creature that I am (What?! I am) then pray that these drivers receive my wonderful advice and stop driving with such boldness and a desire to blow their horn every other second.

Until next time … blow your nose not your horn, you’ll get more out of it (thank you Chuck Caruthers for that wisdom)!

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